I, like many of you, watched the two-part “Iyanla, Fix My Life” which featured Evelyn Lozada, the infamous reality tv personality and soon to be ex-wife of Chad Johnson. As I shared my thoughts on both episodes with a good friend of mine, she told me that many of the comments she’s been reading about the show on blogs have been negative and highly critical of Evelyn. In a way, I expected that. But here’s the way that I see it…

The “Iyanla, Fix My Life” on Evelyn was about Evelyn, but it was FOR the viewers. It was for us to have an opportunity to perhaps recognize something in ourselves or to hopefully facilitate an “aha” experience that might allow us to begin the work that could lead to our own healing. It was not done with the intention to simply interview Evelyn about her marriage or to get her perspective on the drama that is currently going on in her life, but it seems that a lot of us won’t or can’t see that. Many of us took it as another opportunity to judge her and to feel superior in that comparison. We completely ignored the point-there is no doubt something in our own lives that isn’t working and needs “fixing”, and through our observation of Evelyn, we might be able to recognize it. Evelyn may fight or hide her insecurities behind designer clothes and shoes, or relationships with professional athletes, but what do we do? How do our fears and insecurities show up in our lives?

We like to dice it all up into little categories in order to justify or make “right” or “better” our own position, but fear is fear. Insecurity is insecurity. And what we often fail to see is the limitation in the perspective of “right” or “better.” At the end of the day, we’ve ALL got mess, but why should we be invested in making somebody else’s mess messier than ours? What purpose does that serve? We don’t need for Evelyn to stay “wrong” so that we can continue to be “right.”

Of course we could argue our right to have an opinion about Evelyn; and on the face of it all, that might just be true. But sadly, too many of us entirely missed the purpose/intention behind the show. It wasn’t for us to scrutinize and then judge her sincerity or to determine whether or not she is, has, or ever will get her lesson. It wasn’t intended for us to conclude whether or not she has gotten what we feel she deserves. It was presented as an opportunity for us all to learn and grow and possibly begin to heal our own life’s wounds. And with this as an intention, perhaps we should all root for Evelyn to win. Because if she can win, then so can we.

Back in the 90s I read a lot of Iyanla VanZant’s books. She had a way to talking to Black women that struck us as the heart of matters. Then she did that television show and the Iyanla I loved was gone, replaced by some corporatized host who seemed just as lost in the experience as I was. Well when I saw a preview of her new show,”Fix My Life” which will premiere tomorrow at 10 on OWN earlier this week (she stopped by the day job to give us a sneak peek) I was sure the Iyanla I had grown to love was back and she was better than ever.

So before I go any further I will just say set your DVDs for this show. It is not to be missed (and not for the reasons you think). Sure she starts the season talking candidly to Evelyn Lozada of “Basketball Wives” whose marriage to Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson recently fell apart due to alleged domestic abuse. But what wilsl make you tune in week after week is Iyanla. Because to me this is notyour average self-help show where they scratch the surface and discover some emotionally charged issue that can be neatly resolved during the course of the show. What Iyanla is doing is going deeper and getting at the family and character traits, the pathologies that drive us to do what we do. She is a gritty truth teller and wants us to face our lives, address our issues and grow stronger from the experience.

What makes this show work is Iyanla herself, because she is not focused on being a star of her show. Instead her focus is healing what is broken within her subjects and among women who are watching. In essence we’re sitting in on Iyanla’s intimate workshop and we can do the work too. You better get ready because “Fix My Life” is not going to make you feel good about trying to hide your issues under the rug. what might happen is that you get bolder about solutions to your own issues so you can live a more authentic life. So in the words of Curtis Mayfield “People get ready there’s a train a comin…”

So glad that Oprah and Iyanla are no longer estranged. The truth is Oprah needs more progrmming like “Fix My Lfe” to make OWN a more interesting network.

These two designers prove that it’s all in the details with great patterns, textures combined with rich shades. All of these thing equal through modern and feminine silhouettes.(photos courtesy of prphotos.com)

Backstage at Mataano, legendary makeup artist Byron Barnes gives Ayan Elmi the final touches.

Any black fashionphile alive should get thee to a theater when “Versaille ’73: American Runway Revolution hits your area. Okay, I haven’t made it to the IFC Center in NYC yet but I will before this film finishes its run at the art house theater. I am so looking forward to seeing director Deborah Draper’s documentary and hearing from Pat Cleveland, Bethann Hardison and so many other legendary ladies about the runway extravaganza that features the likes of Christian Dior and Hubert de Givenchy and the new kids of the time like Stephen Burrows, Halston and Bill Blass. In fact, I want to own this flick as soon as it becomes available to the masses.

Subdued hues will be sharing the shades with rainbow brights this coming Spring. Oh how I love color.(photos courtesy of prphotos.com)

Well it’s been a minute since we’ve seen Halle on the big screen. We know she’s had her hands full being a mom, breaking up with her child’s father, fighting for custody and finding love again. It seems, however, that she’s picked the right flick to make her comeback in. Her latest movie, “Cloud Atlas” got a prolonged standing ovation at the Toronto Film Festival this weekend, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Well if the cast and the directors are any indication, it’s at least going to be the most talked about movie this fall.

The movie co-stars Tom Hanks, Jim Broadbent and Hugh Grant and a host of others and is written and  directed by that dynamic duo behind “The Matrix” trilogy—Andy and Lana Wachowski along with Tom Twyker, a dynamo in his own right. Apparently this epic sci-fi cinematic trip is adapted by a book by David Mitchell and involves a bunch of storylines taking place in different eras. I never heard of it but it caused quite a sensation when it was published in 2004. The trio decided that to make this mulit-layered story easier to follow by having each actor would play multiple roles. Halle will be playing a Victorian-era housewife and a hard charging reporting as well as some futuristic character.

All of this sounds intriguing and confusing at the same time. At least it’s not the same old love story we’ve seen countless times. Plus it’s coming from the Wachowski siblings is a huge plus in my book because I am a huge “Matrix” fan. Everyone involved is going to want this to be hit. This film is reported to cost upwards of 100 million dollars to produce in other words no wants to be associated with a big budget flop. So here’s hoping that we’ll all be talking about this movie for a good reason next month.

Neutral shades and beautiful basics were omnipresent this weekend at Mercedes-Benz Fashion week. Here are some looks from Herve Leger, Jill Stuart and Lacoste. photos courtesy of prphotos.com