Unless you’ve been on a desert island, you’ve heard a whole lot about Tracy McMillan lately. For those of you who are not familiar, Tracy wrote the infamous “Why You’re Not Married” blog for HuffPost back in February 2011. That one post spread like wildfire, receiving over 2,000 comments and was no doubt shared hundreds of thousands of times over via email, Twitter and Facebook. The response was really no different when she followed up with her May 2012 post, “Why You’re Still Not Married.” Some folks were, as they say, “hot as fish grease.”
In my personal circle, many of my friends were offended and echoed sentiments similar to those shared by the Tracy McMillan detractors: “Who does she think she is?” “She’s been divorced three times. What can she tell anybody about having a relationship?” “Why does she assume that all women want to get married?” And those were among some of the kindest comments I heard. I guess I can see why some folks got so heated. It didn’t help that Tracy went hard. The reasons she gave for why you aren’t married (if you want to be)? Well, let’s see…..
· You’re a bitch
· You’re shallow
· You’re a slut
· You’re a liar
· You’re selfish
· You’re not good enough
Too much? I don’t know. For some, it certainly is. When I told one of my friends that Tracy makes some very valid points that are actually empowering to women, she replied, “Well, it’s kind of hard for me to soak all of that up when somebody is calling me a bitch.”
Like it or not, Tracy shares some real talk. Sure, her language is provocative, but her blogs, as well as her new book, “Why You’re Not Married…Yet”: have sparked some really “spirited” debates and might possibly help some of us look at relationships from a new perspective. Most importantly, some of us might just begin to see ourselves from a new perspective. For those who are willing to look beyond the controversy, they will find that what she is actually sharing are some simple truths: marriage is not for punks; we could all benefit from a little self-introspection; and, if we are willing, we have the power to transform the quality of our relationships by transforming our thoughts and behaviors around them.
I, for one, am grateful for her insights…..and her honesty.
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