I, like many of you, watched the two-part “Iyanla, Fix My Life” which featured Evelyn Lozada, the infamous reality tv personality and soon to be ex-wife of Chad Johnson. As I shared my thoughts on both episodes with a good friend of mine, she told me that many of the comments she’s been reading about the show on blogs have been negative and highly critical of Evelyn. In a way, I expected that. But here’s the way that I see it…

The “Iyanla, Fix My Life” on Evelyn was about Evelyn, but it was FOR the viewers. It was for…

Just the other day, a very clear thought about relationships came to me; and that is that they are a lot like group projects. Remember those from college? Sometimes, they weren’t all that fun to be involved in. Invariably, there always seemed to be that one character in the group who wouldn’t pull their own weight but expected to get credit right along with everyone else. They failed to show up to group meetings, came late when they did decide to come, or they missed important deadlines. They just weren’t team players. Left on their own, nobody really cared. After…

Last week, during a conversation I was having with a dear friend about an ex-boyfriend of hers, she dropped the “c” word. She called him “crazy.” Not just “crazy”, but “batshyt crazy.” Now, having used the word many times myself, I started thinking about all the times I’ve heard it used by women in reference to their exes. Seems to be quite common, but could it be that all of these guys actually are crazy? Could it be true that there is an overabundance of sociopaths roaming the streets, looking for the opportunity to…

How do we bridge the so-called divide between men and women? How do we create understanding? How do we heal our relationship wounds? How do we get back to…..LOVE?

Like other women, I have often asked myself these questions. I have also participated in endless discussions on this very topic. I have chimed in, weighed in, and boldly stated my opinion about what we “should” do in order to come to some sort of resolution. But after many years and countless hours of discussion, it finally occurred to me that “we” don’t need to do…

Unless you’ve been on a desert island, you’ve heard a whole lot about Tracy McMillan lately.  For those of you who are not familiar, Tracy wrote the infamous “Why You’re Not Married” blog for HuffPost back in February 2011. That one post spread like wildfire, receiving over 2,000 comments and was no doubt shared hundreds of thousands of times over via email, Twitter and Facebook.   The response was really no different when she followed up with her May 2012 post, “Why You’re Still Not Married.”  Some folks were, as they say, “hot as fish grease.”

In my personal circle, many of…

Everywhere I look, there is a Facebook post, a tweet, a blog, or a website dedicated to some rant about something being wrong or a problem that needs fixing.  If we would only forward an e-mail, write a sternly worded letter or join a march, we will have done our part in making the world a better, safer place.  And we make it mean something to join causes that fight against injustice. We make it mean something that we are able to identify “wrongs” and point out where others, even ourselves, have failed.  Some go so far as to become expert commentators on…

As women, we strive to be selfless. We are loving and dependable mothers, wives and partners. We are caring daughters who support our parents in their older years. We are the strong shoulder that our friends lean on in times of trouble. But sometimes, we take it too far and carry other people’s burdens until we become overwhelmed by the weight of the heavy load. Why do we do this? Because it’s what’s expected of us? Or is it because we have signed up for the story that suffering for the sake of…

“When love comes, and it will, don’t bury it in expectation and projection-be prepared to fall in love all over again, every day.” —-Michael J. Fox

I was casually flipping through the latest issue of O Magazine when I came across an article in which people were sharing the advice they would give to their younger selves. As I read each offering, it occurred to me just how much time and experience can change our perspective on life and love. This particular piece of wisdom, so simply stated, says a lot about what it takes to sustain…

I am a fan of Reality TV.  Can’t get enough. Court shows are the best. And no, I don’t watch because I get a kick out of watching complete strangers make fools of themselves so that I might feel superior by comparison.  Quite the opposite.  I watch because I get a very clear (if maybe slightly distorted) view of what it looks like when I am all up in my feelings.  And as much as some of us might want to set ourselves apart from the nonsense that is played out onscreen, the fact is that it is merely a…

“Trust” is a word that always seems to come up when we talk about relationships. We want to trust our partners; trust that they will be there for us; trust that they will be faithful; and finally, the one that makes me cringe every single time I hear it- we want to trust our partners with our hearts.

And what does that mean, exactly? That they will never do anything that causes us hurt or disappointment? That they will always make us feel secure? Just like the next, I’ve had my share of buying into the hype;…